British car show “Top Gear” host Jeremy Clarkson horsing around with a dildo at the MPH Motoring Show in Johannesburg in 2008.

Mr Clarkson was having fun pretending his relation with co-host Richard Hammond was more than platonic, before taking the sex toy out of hiding and brandishing it above his head.

Few mortals can be as cool as Captain Dildo. Not only does he have a helmet spiked with dildos, but elbow and forearm pads studded with them, granting him the power to unleash dildo-attacks from any angle. As an ultimate measure of defense as well as offence he wears a regular strap-on.

His symbol, a Barbie crucified on a cross made out of dildos, instills fear as well as questions about his sanity on all evil doers that behold it. His side-kick Creepy Mask Man accompanies him on his adventures. Together they travel the badlands, righting wrongs and rock and rolling along the way.

Update: After further research we found the name of the band is “Shat”. Jeff Wood is the vocalist/creator/songwriter, with masked band mates “Baby Fat” and “Baby Jesus”. For more information:

• Shat on myspace
• Shat on MP3Lizard.com